Internet Dating Answers

Should I Divorce My Husband?

Anonymous — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 15:27:07 +0000

Hi all,

Can you help me out? I am trying to figure out if I should divorce my husband.

I met my husband online and after a year dating online, we got engaged and then the next year we got married. I was 30 and he was 39 and I come from Indonesia.

After we were married, we didnt see each other (only on skype) for a year because I have to stay in my country to wait for the permanent resident card. Short story, I got my permanent resident card and we got together in Canada. I admit that when I was in the airport for the first time to meet him I was kind of confused and lost. I have never been away from my home country and I am also tired after almost a 20 hour flight. So I didn’t give him the warm love that he expected in the airport.

After that, we lived in a small town where he bought us a house. Everything was ok – yes, he was sometimes ‘rude’ in his words, but thats ok because i love him. Then, a couple weeks before Christmas I was checking our mail box when I found a pink Christmas card with no name of the sender on it so i opened it, thinking it was from the kids in Quebec (he has already 3 kids from his ex-wife). It was from a girl named Maria and it was a love Christmas card with love words and pictures of them together.

So when he came home I confronted him, but he denied everything, calling the girl crazy and said that the pic was fake. I know the pic is not fake because I am not blind about technology. But I let it go, because I was thinking he was lonely while I was not there so he needed a woman.

But then on Christmas, I was playing with his iPhone with his kids in Quebec when I found skype with a different name and the only contact that he had was that girl Maria. I was very angry, so he erased it and said to me that he loved me, and that night he made love to me and made me a baby.

Soon, I got pregnant, but at the end of January, I found out that he has been texting with a woman, saying love words. So I wrote down the woman’s name and called her. My heart beat so fast when I asked, “are you Maria?” and she said, “yes, who is this?”

I told her that I am Martin’s wife. She hung up the phone and then she texted me to ask me where I have been last year, and I told her everything about the permanent resident card situation. She said she didnt know he was married, that she was sorry, and that she would not contact him anymore. I was relieved that she understood.

But that didn’t turn out to be true, they were still texting together, and even calling. I found the voice message from her saying: hi martini, you called me all the times made my inbox full. I was very angry, I was pregnant, and they did this to me (I told Maria before that I was pregnant). So when he came home, I told him that I wanted to see our telus bills, and I wanted him to called her and tell her that its finished between them. I told him, if you want her then its ok, we’ll go get divorce. But he didnt want to and said he loved me.

Short story, Maria is gone but then the facebook women were there, he was sending messages to women (filifine, he love filifine). He told me he only played around. I told him that I disagree, that I think what he did is emotionally cheating on our marriage and love for each other. So he stopped. But then Maria came again. They started texting again. I was frustated, so he wrote a letter signed by him that he will not have any comunication with Maria anymore.

Then I found out he joined an online dating site as a paid member. I couldn’t believe my eyes. We just had a baby girl and he did this to our little family.

He said he was sorry and deleted the account. But it didn’t end there, there were some more dating sites again and more facebook women – we fought almost everyday.

When our baby was 3 months old I went home to visit my family in Indonesia. At the airport, he told me that he was sorry and he said he would delete his profiles from all the dating sites. But when I was waiting for the plane, I checked his email, and he was already joining a new dating site half an hour after we said good bye.

In Indonesia, I found out that I was pregnant again, and because of I was feeling insecure, I checked our phone bills, and I found out Maria and him were texting and calling each other. He made me a promise on paper that he would not have any communication with this woman. So I asked for a divorce, but my husband refused. He said he would do anything to save our marriage. So we talked and we made up.

Then in February 2012 I found out he joined the Zoosk online dating site. And I found women’s phone numbers in his contacts list (I can see his contact through his email). So I called the women and they said they didn’t know he was married. Two of them lived in our city and one of them said he asked to meet her. I was again in a state of depression. I couldn’t sleep, my head keeps on thinking. I asked him to divorce me again. But again my husband refused to do that. He deleted his account and said he would not do stupid things anymore.

For one month there was nothing in his email or phone bills. But then a couple days ago I found out he has been texting with a filifine woman from Zoosk (I recognize the numbers) in our city. They have been texting for 1300 text messages. I was very angry. He kept on breaking his words to me and lied. So I asked for a divorce. He told me he loved his family and that he will not divorce me. He changed his password on telus phone and I was angry. He gave the password to me and told me not to panic, he told me that in the telus bills I was going to see Maria’s phone numbers that they have been texting. He told me that he only replied to Maria’s texts, and they only talked about her over-weight baby. (She was pregnant with another man’s baby while texting my husband before). I texted Maria, and she said yes they have been texting.

Her words were: yep, we are texting but my conviction is still the same, I will not coming back to him. He will be happy though that you will divorce him, because he is a crazy guy. LOL. Like what I said martini is a good actor, no guilt, no sense of concience. I will not be surprised if he lied about me to you. I knew there’s something wrong with him, how he treated you and not feeling sorry about losing his family at all.

Now we are in the cold. he said I dont trust him and I dont know what to do, I want to divorce him but i am afraid of losing my family. Should I divorce my husband? I am so confused, can someone help me???

What do I do if my mom is dating other guys when she is married to my father?

Anonymous — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 19:59:35 +0000

It started when she learned to use the computer. She always talks to someone else and gives her cellphone number. At first it was ok to me but when the time comes that someone is calling her everyday, I feel sad about it because I know that it is her male chattmate. After a month, she is going out and I ask her, “Mom where are you going?” And she replied “I’m just gonna check out what are the things still needed in our new house” and then she left.

At 8 o’clock in the evening I called her and said “Mom where are you, i’m feeling hungry right now,” and she replied with a soft voice, “I’m coming home baby.” I waited until 10 o’clock and she’s still not coming home and then I realized something’s different beacuse she didnt use soft voice every time I call her and think that shes dating with someone else and I dont know why she is dating with someone else. Is it because she need more love because my father is working abroad? I dont know what to do please help me.

Why Do Girls Treat me like this?

Anonymous — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:00:48 +0000

I’m a little so/so about paying for love. Especially with all the bad luck I’m having on free dating sites like okcupid, plentyoffish, and datehookup.com Let me start by saying, in a sense I’ve been trying to find love online for 9 years. From time to time I find someone to talk to. Usually a nice girl that lives in another state, a long ways away from me. This year I decided to go back to online dating sites. What amazes me, is how many messages I can send out, and get nothing in return! I’m not saying that I always come off as someone “awesome” in my messages. But all I want to is get girls to notice me, long enough to get to know me. What floors me is the fact that a site like okcupid can find me a 99 percent match, and they won’t even give me the time of day! I just wish I knew why girls treat me like this. It isn’t like I’m saying “hey baby lets meet and have sex” Normally I just Hi, How are you? or pick something on the profile we have in common. I’ve tried it all. I remember several years ago, I sent out 500 messages, and only got like 5 replies back. I’ve been told that If I were to start writing a paragraph or more that this would help my success level. Really all I want to do is get a short conversation started, and see where things lead.

Recently I decided to take my problem to a forum called social anxiety support. A lady was nice enough to help me rebuild my profile. What is really weird is social anxiety support. I’m the most popular member! And all I did was add “friends” mostly women, and it wasn’t long and I had a friends list of several hundred. Now it is up to 1,330 people (mainly women) And they talk to me! And yet I can’t understand, nor can they understand why I have so much trouble on these dating sites!

Whats a good 100% free dating website?

Anonymous — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 09:44:42 +0000

Hey there everyone, I’m a single 18 year old, so please don’t say that I’m too young to date right now because I won’t listen to you anyways, so that being said, what do you think the best free dating website out there is, that is NOT plentyoffish.com, okcupid.com or myyearbook.com? I really want another alternative because I hate those sites, but still want to use a free dating website that is good for someone who is a single 18 year old.

What would a woman think of me? As someone to date?

Anonymous — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 09:44:41 +0000

If you were a woman and using a dating site like POF, would you think I was dateable or want to date me? Why or why not? And I mean if you were a woman who is between the age of 22-40.

Here is my plenty of fish profile.

http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=10213366

I just finished fixing up my plenty of fish dating profile, so I’m really curous as to what a woman would think and if women would date me?

Women are the more racist gender in online dating, Correct?

Anonymous — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 21:44:03 +0000

Looking at the following articles which show prejudice and racism amongst gender (especially women) in the online dating sites, which are quite interesting to me:

http://www.overcomingbias.com/2010/02/mate-racism.html

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/

It seems women will probably try to rationalize this racist behavior. Oh what irony! Hahahah!!

What do you think?

I can’t sleep without the Heater on. Should I say this on my eHarmony dating profile?

Anonymous — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 21:41:06 +0000

But seriously, I can not sleep with the heater off in the bedroom. I tend to get cold easily and shiver often when the heat is off. In addition, I also can’t take cold showers – ONLY hot ones! I suppose that should be something I should add to my eHarmony profile as well? What do you guys think, is this being too nit picky or is it a reasonable thing to mention in my profile?

Which rock n’ roll hairstyle would look cooler than the style I have, if any?

Anonymous — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 21:43:17 +0000

Check out my pic on plentyoffish.

Please suggest some rock n’ roll hair styles and also add links to pictures as necessary.

Feel free to be as conservative or as radical as you want.

I am particularly interested in the opinions of scene girls…

Kthanks!

Why does eHarmony match me, a 5’9″ male, with 6’2″ women?!?

Anonymous — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 21:40:06 +0000

They also match me with extremely overweight women. I don’t understand this stuff about “29 dimensions of compatability.” If you’re compatible with a woman but not sexually attracted to her, she’s your friend, not your girlfriend. Related posts: Has anyone ever found a decent match on eHarmony? Why don’t I have any luck with women? [...] Related posts:

How Did This Person Get Her Profile Photo Like This?

Anonymous — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 09:43:14 +0000

http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=19595951 Related posts: Can you give tips to improve my dating Profile? Is there any good reason why no girls respond to my dating profile? How is this profile? Related posts: